Tag Archives: coaching

How to Find Meaning in Life, by Vicki Tillman, LPCMA, BCC

There are times in life when many people ask, “What’s the meaning of life?” or “What’s the meaning of MY life?”

Very often these times of questioning happen when we can see change coming or during a transition … or frustratingly, when we FEEL like things should be changing, but we are stuck.

The types of clients I have worked with who want to work on the meaning of their lives have been in these change or stuck seasons. Can you identify with any of these?

•  College student who realizes he’s in the wrong major…but what major should he be in?

•  A twenty-something in a quarter-life crisis.

•  A thirty-something who realizes that they are not where they hoped they’d be (relationally or career-wise).

•  A forty-something who has been forced into a career or relationship change.

•  A fifty-something who has been *job-redefined* or has hit the classic mid-life crisis.

•  A sixty-something who can’t figure out what senior years look like in this generation.

•  A seventy-something who is reviewing her life.

Most people feel better, more content or happy, when they feel that they have a purpose or meaning in their lives. People need to feel like what they do matters. They need to feel that who they are matters.

When we are in phases of change or feeling-stuck-but-needing-change, we can feel anxious, restless, irritable and/or sad. An *impress somebody* term for this feeling is *existential crisis*.

What can you do? How do you find meaning in life?

If you are questioning the meaning of life, don’t worry. Here are some things you can do to find your meaning in life.

Don’t get too scared of this questioning phase of life. You are supposed to be feeling that right now, at that moment! An existential crisis is similar emotionally to the physical feelings of hunger when your stomach needs food. Your soul questions your meaning and purpose in an uncomfortable way so that you will feed it with answers and meaning. An existential crisis is a type of soul hunger.

Don’t avoid the work that needs to be done. You don’t want to sit on this for years feeling unsatisfied and restless! There are many things you can do to feed your soul. Here are some:

Re-acquaint yourself with you. Take your personality tests (I know you’ve probably done them in the past, but trust me: you need a refresher). Click here for a link to some free versions of some of my favorite personality tests.

Like to read? Many of my millennial clients like to explore their personalities with the Enneagram. This is not a test, but a *discovery*. My favorite book to get started learning about the nine (Greek word for *9* is *ennea*) personality styles is The Road Back to You by Ian Cron and Suzanne Stabile.

Get quiet! Spend a few minutes each day in some type of mindfulness practice. When we quiet down, we tend to discover things about ourselves that we never could otherwise. Not only is quiet-time good for self-discovery, it is also helps the calm-down parts of our brains to grow!

Many people tell me they can’t *turn off their brains*. That’s okay. There are mindfulness (quiet down) practices for all kinds of people: deep breathing, yoga, knitting, walking in nature, and more. Want lots of ideas? Check out this post on Mindfulness for People who Aren’t Naturally Mindful.

Get Life Coaching. The purpose of Life Coaching is to help you find your meaning and then fulfill it! My Life Coaching clients work on things like:

What is my meaning in life?
How do I find ways to fulfill my meaning?
How can I build my personal, social and profession skills so that I can fulfill my meaning in life?
How can I like myself better?
How can I be more content in life?

As you can see, Life Coaching is about fulfilling who you are and who you are meant to become. (Life Coaching is different from counseling. Counseling is about healing what’s broken. Coaching is about fulfilling who you need to be.)

You will feel so much better when you have finished your *meaning work*! No more restlessness or irritation. More contentment, satisfaction, and peace!

Are you in a questioning phase, asking yourself, “What’s the meaning of life?” Contact us at 302-738-6859 to set up your first Life Coaching visit.

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