Before choosing my topic, I often review the previous month’s posts. I don’t know if my fellow Americans… I mean therapist… collaborated to set me up, but there is one topic that seems to flow from theirs at this time of year. Election years can heighten tension, making communication all the more challenging. As a therapist, I strive to foster connection through thoughtful dialogue that can reduce friction and promote understanding. Here are some tips to help you navigate conversations about difficult topics with those who hold different viewpoints. Hopefully, leading to closer relationships regardless of the results in November.
Set Boundaries for Respectful Dialogue
– When approaching a charged topic, it may be helpful to first agree on ground rules for the conversation, such as avoiding personal attacks and using “I” statements to express feelings.
Focus on Shared Values
– Identify common ground first. Discuss shared goals, such as community well-being or the importance of family, to create a collaborative atmosphere.
Empathy
– Approach discussions with genuine curiosity to understand where the other person is coming from. Ask open-ended questions about their views and experiences.
Practice Active Listening
– By summarizing what the other person has said and reflecting it back, you demonstrate respect for their position. This can also help in clarification for you and them at points of misunderstanding.
Stay Calm and Self Regulate
– If the conversation starts to heat up, communicate your need for a break. Practice deep breathing, write, or engage with a mindfulness app like Calm or Finch for a few minutes. This can prevent escalation and allow for a more beneficial talk.
Acknowledge Differences Without Judgment
– Validate the other person’s right to their opinion, even if you disagree. Saying something like, “I can see why you feel that way” can go a long way in reducing defensiveness.
Be Open to Learning
– Frame the conversation as an opportunity for growth. Share your own experiences and be willing to adjust your perspective based on what you hear, when appropriate.
Know When to Agree to Disagree
– Recognize that it’s okay to part ways with differing views. Suggest shifting the topic or ending the conversation on a positive note, reinforcing the importance of the relationship.
Follow Up
– After a difficult conversation, check in with the person later. This shows that you value the relationship beyond the disagreement and are committed to maintaining a connection.
Communication and connection are integral to navigating the complexities of our diverse communities and beliefs. By having the courage to step into uncomfortable conversations, we strive for progress. By having the skills and grace to leave relationships intact after these conversations, we better our communities and the world as a whole.
